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21 October 05

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A lovely finish to the Week

Yay its Friday! I’m sitting here mulling the thoughts of catch-up sleep, a lil bit of wine tonight, and mmm perhaps a nice thai meal or gourmet pizza. Why the sudden change to be nice to myself, me ponders? To recaptulate with enthusiasm, I have been brimming with bright changes to my attitude of living. I realise I may sound somewhat equivalent to a 70’s hippy, but ’ L o v e ’ is the real motivation of my life as of this week. What I mean is not only romantic love, but the love of my work, the love of being with others, sharing ideas, thoughts and most importantly I was learning about loving myself! Sound corny? (I don’t care.)

From the help and nuturance of a very intuitive Life Coach, I was taught literally how to be truly, intrinsically happy by overcoming my fears. And you know what? I think it might be working! Yesterday afternoon I sweated profusely (not in the literally dripping state) prior to guest speaking to the students at the Design school I graduated at more than 20 months ago. As nervous as a graduate going to their first job interview, I began to meditate on the thought that I was proud of my achievements to date, and that I would be able to give great, and natural advice to the students. Okay I stuttered a little bit in the first couple of minutes, and for a while I thought I would completely shutdown as I had no preparation for a speech, but what eventually came after the initial fear was a sensation really quite wonderful – I was happy to be me. It still amazes me in the entire 60 minutes with the students, not once did I think to myself “God that sounded dumb” or “my work sucks” – and they even laughed at my unpredetermined jokes!

So in addition to what I learnt this week, I also now see choice in the things I do. For example right now, its 4 in the afternoon, I couldn’t find the energy to do any design work. To be straight I doubt any ground-shaking graphics will result during a tired Friday arvo. So I choose to express this little piece of insight about my week, and voila I feel uplifted already!