Sevenzest

Babble

20 August 05

Have your say or browse the Babble.

Money! Money! Money!

It’s amazing how fast a week goes by. I’ve been tiresomely withholding a proposal for pay increase at work. With a demanding increase in work, responsibility and less time for freelance – I’m dying to do it. Yet something keeps holding me back. On the one hand I cherish in the delightful moments which have me feeling career proud and creatively happy. On the other hand ‘signs’ are telling me my boss couldn’t possibly give me a pay rise: poor computer systems suggesting strict budget within the art department, (what designer could possibly operate on a Pentium 2 with 256 mb of ram on a 17 inch screen). In the 3 months of my employment, I have not signed an employment contract since my 4 weeks trial, insinuating a lack of organization in professional company procedures. My personal response to stress is a BIG NO NO. Think bubbling pulse rate, urge to vomit and irritating bouts of insomnia driven snacking. Anxiety-driven actions of mine has always placed a tension on my self belief. This time it’s no different.

A very wicked thought on the lack of contractual work relationship: could it mean that in a huff of an argument and/or a better job offer I could leave abruptly with no notice? I strongly doubt that I would act so dispassionately about my responsibility. More importantly, which employer would be flexible enough to allow me to have up to 8 hours each week for freelance and subsequently offer me 40 hours if I lacked in freelance work?

During the day I multi-task (or try as far as my Granddad pc would go) requests and jobs coming at me from all angles in the publishing industry – marketing manager, advertising manager, publishing director, chief editor and even production staff. My nights comprised of website readings on “how to get pay, salary increase”, notably stopping once I’ve reached the phase of pasting the relevant material into Word. Naturally I’m also seeking job options in the case it doesn’t work out.

Maybe they don’t’ require a ‘designer’? Besides, if I recall correctly the position advertised as “advertising artist” – not a creative who waltzed in with her 3 year degree, with a plan to change and improve all the publications, and ultimately become head of the art department one day. So I’m STILL in the research phase, perhaps the most applicable one is whether a pay rise REALLY is the focus – and do I really have the power to improve what my IDEAL environment would be implementing it into the current one? Which ever way it goes, whether I will get a new pc, a pay rise or a new job, at least now I have certain expectations and long term career goals that I can gingerly record and aspire to. Sigh** I love my journal…