Sevenzest

Babble

2 September 05

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Take off, please...

A real hectic week: Miss little control freak + additional stress from work + off to Hong Kong tomorrow = a lil’ crazy designer. Twice I count, breaking into tears once in the morning when things weren’t going my way (namely emailing my payrise proposal to work so I could edit it on my break). Then again in the evening – just as I was about to finish the busy day, a sales executive approaches me with changes to the new sales pack (the 16th change this week), and uncontrollably my tears just welled and spilled over million alterations, the pressure to live up to my pay rise proposal promises, and the overwhelming responsibility I held on myself before I leap into the buzzing chinese home of mine. I’m sure tomorrow, armed with a million butterflies in my stomach and mini heart-attacks I can finally hand over the proposal letter to my boss with at least a reason or two that I really did deserve it.

After an agonising month of countless self-talk, tarot readings, advice from friends and family that I really learnt to just shut up and ask myself what do I really want from this company? I’m doing freelance, and yet I find the taxation too expensive for my creativity and mental health. Yes, I like security. But on the parallel thought I endeavour the freedom of catching clients and breathing life into another area of expertise I do not know about. Cross my fingers that I can sustain both of these areas because while a job is a job, I want to live as if my creativity and flair is being utilised in the best way possible.

So anyway, I’m really looking forward to Hong Kong, something I still can’t envision yet. But hopefully I’ll be so absorbed there I won’t need to think of anything … finally my mind will get a decent break.